vineri, 10 octombrie 2014

9.10

Yesterday was a hard day. Just so. I have drowned myself in alcohol, drugs, people and sleep deprivation.
Yesterday was a hard day. I needed you next to me and the more I wanted to talk to you the more I felt sad. I know I am cheating by writing this because I know (hope) you will read it at some point.
Yesterday was a hard day. I have a million things that I wanted to share the only one that pops into mind now is that the whole album from Mumford and Sons makes me feel closer to you and that Twin Peaks will have a new season up next year.
Yesterday was a hard day. I scratch my desk not to directly write to you. Alex told me that we need time. That I would be so mean by doing that. And obviously it would be defying the whole purpose. Kitty shaped hole in my heart. Makes me smile and sad. I like that. I fully feel it. I feel empty and hopeful. I know you will end up hating me. I told you first loves do not last.


Yesterday was a hard day. You are my white picked fenced guy. I asked Alex if it's ok to still think that maybe in the future we might end up together. He told me that it is a nice thought and to feed on it. That it might not happen but if it makes me happy why not.


Yesterday was a hard day. First loves only shape you up for the next one. I am just a vessel for that.


Yesterday was a hard day. The more I want to talk to you the more I know not doing it is a right thing. You are my full stop. I wish we went out on dates. I wish I was awkward with you and you brought me flowers. Everything was so rushed. I wish I was better.


Yesterday was a hard day. If you take anything from this take my love for you and the fact that I want you to be happy. I want you to apply yourself to your passion and to be fearless to be that amazing magical kitty which you are. Share yourself with the world and take in only what you think is good for you. I want this to enable you to reach that point. I want this to enable me to reach that point.


Yesterday was a hard day. Maybe we will. I hope we will. I do. We will need some time. But I hope we will. And when and if we do I would like you to bring me a sunflower and take me out to dinner. Haha I know very exact.


Today is a hard day. I feel like all of sudden I do not have my best friend anymore. If you ever read this please send me your address so I can send you over some stuff.


Miau out